Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize