are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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