Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
