It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
