We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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