The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
