You're completely useless in the revolution.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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