were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
