spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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