just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
