just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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