1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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