I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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