im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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