Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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