we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
