I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
