How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
