are you so shy because you have an std?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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