His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
