he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
