I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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