I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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