dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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