the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
