The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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