Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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