ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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