I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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