Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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