Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
