Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
