we're blogging at a bar
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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