I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
