Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
