i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
