shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
