if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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