the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
