Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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