you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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