Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
