dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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