I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
