We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
