haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
