Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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