also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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