youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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