Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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