nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
