i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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