She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
