Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.

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(716): View more from New York

I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight

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(203): View more from Connecticut

the problem with open bar is i never know what to get

(781): View more from Massachusetts

did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."

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(850): View more from Florida

HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs

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(949): View more from California

I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.

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(518): View more from New York

I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...

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