i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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