I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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