My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
A+ Viking dick
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
