at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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