Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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