My liver just broke up with me...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
