it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
