I'm really into asian looking animals
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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