11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
