Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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