How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
50% drunk capacity currently
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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