ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
third nipple confirmed
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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