The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
