I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
