but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize