the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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