so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
